Tuesday, February 15, 2011

IMY


Daddy, i really miss u these days. sigh. it's gonna be your 100th day and i'm so clueless without u these days. i have no idea on what to do and i 'rebel' a l0t. since you're not in anymore, no more call from u anymore. i dont seems to know how to control myself. but deep down in my heart i know if u were here today i will know how to come back just to see u there again. but i just couldnt. =(

Daddy, visiting to all the places i used to be last with u brought back so much memory. Everytime i visit to Aeon, passing by Pasta Mania, that was the last restaurant i was with u there. Everytime there, u will wait for us to shop finish or even rush us back just because u were bored or u're just too tired. i wish it was that time again.

Daddy, so many things are undecided without u. i have many things to ask, ' Can i do that? can i go? ' there's so many things i still need your permission as usual. but why daddy? why u left so soon?

today we visited to the temple at Jenjarom. along the journey, today was the first time the one driving your car wasn't u. the one who always talk to me when i was on headset listening to songs. the one who will look at me at times looking at what I'm doing. the one will give me the sinis look. the one who will ask ,"want seafood"? i miss all that daddy. i really miss you. but what can i do?
i never stop missing you. practically my whole life now was to think what i last did with u

daddy. today i regret for not spending more time with u when there were time i suppose to. regret for not giving a helping hand when u need it. regret for being angry with u on the day u're wanted to get a laptop for me. regret for always listening to my songs when it was suppose to be your voice i shall listen to. sorry daddy that the day u came to take the spm results with me , i send u away just to be with my friends while i know it may be the last time I'm gonna have this moment with u. and now i actually realise i was the first one u actually took an official results with, and daddy, i sent u away. i'm a bad daughter. i was stupid and foolish to do so. and i know today it was too late. and today, going to uni, no longer for u to fetch me. i regret that i did not do my driving well and not having the chance to fetch u even once. even i didn't get the opportunity to drive yours soon. ='(

so many great movies to let u watch on screen today. american idol is up for u to comment like usual. so many stories to share with u on my friends, on my studies , on my stuff. but daddy, you're not here anymore.

why do u have to leave so soon? just a few days before u left, u were just fine. giving me the hope. that i can spend my future with u still. but just a few hours before u left, u didn't give me a call, a message or anything or even the last chance for u to talk to me. and u couldn't let me spend ur golden days with u together. so much yet no more.




after watching "it's okay Daddy's daughter" it makes me recall so much of u. how u try so hard to walk, how much u tried to get yourself back, trying not to rely on us but u have to, how u will not give me work, how u will give in to me somehow, how u defend for us, how u were always there for us, feeding us great food, giving us the best comfort, attending our intake in uni, giving us what we want but the only difference between u and appa is he survived the struggle. but daddy, u sacrificed in it, but daddy, somehow u won this battle. u really tried. =')

and i hope this sentence " it's okay, daddy's daughter" u could say it one day to me.=')

DADDY, IMY

Love,
JY





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