nolstagia

23rd March 2009, the day Grandpa left me without any notice at all. received a call and that's it. and till now i still regret over the little time i spend with him. it was the greatest lost in my life because he was the closest, the one i loved most and definitely the one i really heart most till now. nothing will change that fact. Grandpa will always be my 'unforgettable'.~

3rd February 2010, Aunt Vicky left this complicated world also without leaving any last words to anyone but she's been a great aunt to me in every way she could.Aunt Vicky, thank you for all the help you gave and all the love you've shared.

3rd May 2010, Uncle Francis aka Uncle Frank also left this world unexpectedly leaving his two innocent and still very young kids. and left us all surprised with no words that we can say.

All of these are really a sudden thing that is hard to accept though everyone has their own destiny. and that is called FATE.

Today when i stepped in Uncle Frank's house, i again felt the same feeling during Grandpa's and Aunt Vicky's funeral. It was a sharp blow in the heart that one could not bear. It was really sad seeing Uncle Frank's wife hide all her sorrow. If the expression now shows everything then i don't think so. Sigh..

On Grandpa's cremation day, I broke down terribly. I kneeled down, facing the floor,eyes filled with tears,unable to face the truth in front of me. I've finally realised i just lost the one that gave me so much hope when i'm down and lost the one that always comfort me and always be there for me when i was in need of love and compassion. But if i were to ask myself, did i gave him everything that he asked, even if a small matter, like just spare some time with him ; i don't think i did and that's how terrible i felt. The regrets and the lost i felt. dot dot dot.

But on that day, someone, a woman stood strong beside me and said

"kong kong now is up there already in a better place. he'll be happy there. don't cry already. he'll see you from up there. he wants to see you happy. don't cry already, ok? just be strong."

Yes, she said that. and the woman who gave me the strength was none other than Uncle Frank's wife. She held me tight by my shoulder comforting me and convinced me to move on.

Today i hope i could provide her the same comfort she gave to me on that horrible day. The same words i would like to say to her. the same spirit and moral support she gave.

To Uncle's Frank's wife

"Uncle Frank is also up there already with Kong Kong. In a better place. He'll be happy there. he'll see you from up there. he wants to see you happy. don't cry already ok? just be strong."


Before i leave the funeral today, Auntie Chin hugged me tight and tell me

" Spend more time with your daddy k. Appreciate the time you have. More family time, okay?"

Yes, FAMILY TIME, i will. and Yes, people. Appreciate your family, they might not be perfect but deep down every family have their own uniqueness. Dig it, check it, feel it, appreciate it. =)

BYE BYE

This is for my people's who just lost somebody
Your best friend, your baby, your man or your lady
Put your hand way up high, we will never say bye

Mamas, daddies, sisters, brothers, friends and cousins
This is for my people's who lost their grandmothers
Lift your head to the sky 'cause we will never say bye

As a child there were them times
I didn't get it but you kept me alive
I didn't know why you didn't show up sometimes
It's something more than saying, “I miss you”
But when we talked too

All them grown full things separation brings
You never let me know it, you never let it show
Because you loved me and obviously
There's so much more left to say
If you were with me today face to face

I never knew I could hurt like this
And everyday life goes on like
I wish I could talk to you for awhile
I wish I could find a way try not to cry
As time goes by

And soon as you reached a better place
Still I'll give the whole world to see your face
And I'm bragging next to you
It feels like you gone too soon
Now the hardest thing to do is say bye bye

Bye bye, bye bye, bye bye
Bye bye, bye bye, bye bye
Bye bye, bye bye, bye bye, bye bye

And you never got the chance to see how good I've done
And you never got to see me back at number one
I wish that you were here to celebrate together
I wish that we could spend the holidays together

I remember when you used to tuck me in at night
With the teddy bear you gave me that I held so tight
I thought you were so strong that you can make it through whatever

It's so hard to accept the fact you're gone forever

I never knew I could hurt like this
And everyday life goes on like
I wish I could talk to you for awhile
I wish I could find a way try not to cry
As time goes by

And soon as you reached a better place
Still I'll give the world to see your face
And I'm bragging next to you
It feels like you gone too soon
The hardest thing to do is say bye bye

Bye bye, bye bye, bye bye
Bye bye, bye bye, bye bye
Bye bye, bye bye, bye bye, bye bye

This is for my people's who just lost somebody
Your best friend, your baby, your man or your lady
Put your hand way up high, we will never say bye

Mamas, daddies, sisters, brothers, friends and cousins
This is for my people's who lost their grandmothers
Lift your head to the sky 'cause we will never say bye, bye

I never knew I could hurt like this
And everyday life goes on like
I wish I could talk to you for awhile
I wish I could find a way try not to cry
As time goes by

And soon as you reached a better place
Still I'll give the world to see your face
And I'm bragging next to you
It feels like you gone too soon
The hardest thing to do is say bye bye

Bye bye, bye bye, bye bye
Bye bye, bye bye, bye bye
Bye bye, bye bye, bye bye, bye bye

Bye bye, bye bye, bye bye
Bye bye, bye bye, bye bye
Bye bye, bye bye, bye bye, bye bye

By Mariah Carey